Living Off Our Lies

I say it once, say it twice but it makes no difference to you,
Tears in my eyes as you apologies and I say that we're through,
You look at me, I look at you and you know that it's true,
You beg and you plead cause you know this is the end,
I cry and you lie and I take you back again,
We kiss and make up and it's just a matter of when,
I lay awake at night next to you seeing more clear,
Knowing I'm staying with you out of fear,
And I wonder how did we get from there to here,
We used to be full of love full of so much hope,
Now these days I can't seem to even cope,
I hold on to you as I try to stay afloat,
I know I should leave but instead I choose to stay,
Knowing I'd be better off if I just walk away,
But through all the black and white I can still see they grey,
Blinded by my love I always give you a second chance,
You don't deserve it, you don't even deserve a second glance,
But yet here we are again in our same old dance,
You pull and I push and you don't seem to care,
We fight and we argue as I lay my soul bare,
And then you do it over and over and I pretend that it's fair,
You walk out the door as I fall to the floor,
How did we get this way I can't even recognise us anymore,
And I just don't understand what we keep going for,
You can't even see what you've turned me into,
After everything that you have put me through,
I've lost all sight of what's even really true,
Look at the way I behave, the things to you I say,
I hate myself more and more after each passing day,
I'm so far gone you make me feel so ashamed,
And yet I still feel like it's all my fault,
Like because of me, I'm somehow responsible,
After everything I've done this is somehow reciprocal,
But I should be grateful I have you none the less,
Because when I'm with you I feel so truly blessed,
Out of every part of my life you really are the best,
It's so wrong but why does it feel so right,
I can't see past you when you're in my sight,
I'm so blinded I don't even see the knife,
You're more than aware of your power over me,
No matter how far I run you always seem to catch me,
And despite knowing this you still won't let me be free,
I know I'm self destructing the longer I stay with you,
I should leave but I just don't know how to,
I look at you and the door caught in a catch 22,
I always thought that we were in this together,
But really we're just stuck in this forever,
And I can't see this ever getting any better,
We've come so far living off our lies,
The further we go I don't think we can survive,
And in the end neither one of us will make it out alive.