Coming home...

 

I’m sitting on the train at the train station, looking out at the platform and the people. The trains headed for the airport but my minds still back at my previous destination. My previous place, my previous address, my previous life. Memories replay in my mind, and I can’t shake it. We all move on by living out lives but I somehow feel like mines going to stand still.

I’m going home and as much as I welcome the thought I cant help but fell a slight feeling of dread. I love home and I need home, but its not always the place where I feel most settled. It used to but it hasn’t in a while. The people and the places I have come to love and feel the most familiar and safe with now feel the most farthest away every time I come home. The sense of security I used to have doesn’t feel as secure anymore. And my sense of direction and knowing who I am feels more lost than ever.

I always say I need to go home to get my head right but sometimes when I go home its not always the case.

I love home, I really do. But sometimes I feel more at home when I’m away, because I can be myself, when I’m home I feel like I loose myself making me question if I ever really knew who I was.

New years resolution..to open a can of worms?!

7 days too late but anyway.. New Years resolutions..? I don’t really make any because like so many others I don’t really keep them. In a perfect world I’m sure we would make big hopes and dreams for the New Year and actually work to our potential to achieve them and keep them. But things change and life doesn’t always work that way. I’m pretty sure whatever I wanted last year is no longer what I want anymore. Either I achieved it, changed my mind, or couldn’t be bothered to achieve it so I changed my mind anyway to suit my laziness. Oh well, shit happens I guess!

My friend once told me “how you start the year is what you're gonna be doing for the rest of the year", I sincerely hope that’s not true because for the most of us it’ll probably mean that we are gonna be wasted all year round. Let the good times roll!

Anyway I don’t really have any new years resolutions but this much I know, something in my life needs to change. Change in every possible way, I’ve been living the same way for too long. I’m sick of routine and absolutely bored with my life. I need some excitement and as much as I hate drama, I welcome it with open arms! However this is gonna be hard because I’m so open minded I can adapt to most situations and its gonna be hard to get me out of my comfort zone! Dare I say I need to open a can of worms?

Either way something’s gottta change!